


A Nose By Any Other Name

by jih3k



Category: One Piece
Genre: Anal Sex, Body Horror, Bukkake, I'm Sorry, M/M, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rape, Scents & Smells, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 23:10:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16073321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jih3k/pseuds/jih3k
Summary: “All that follow their noses are led by their eyes but blind men; and there's not a nose among twenty but can smell him that's stinking.”Law is bored and is up for a little experimentation.





	A Nose By Any Other Name

**Author's Note:**

> The fucking state of this fic.

Trafalgar D. Water Law was bored. He'd been waiting in the country of Wano for Luffy to return with the ero-cook known only to them as Sanji. Law had known better. He was from North Blue after all and there was no mistaking the tell-tale signs of Germa science.

...

Law was letting his mind wander again. He was bored off his tits and frankly, he was horny. He admitted to himself that he wanted Luffy to hurry up because he very desperately wanted to fuck Sanji senseless. It was incalculably frustrating that the younger man was out of his reach and Law had done everything in his power to try to distract himself. Wanking obviously. He's played cards with his crew mates. And then wanked a bit more. He'd traveled around and spoken to allies. He wanked. Now he was desperate enough to visit the local pleasure district, even though it'd been very clear that the local pussy/ass was tainted due to Kaido's factories.

Law cursed out loud. "Motherfucking god damn I want to fuck." Across the room of the safe house, Shachi and Penguin looked up from their dice game. "Everything okay, captain?" Law was a bit flustered and quickly excused himself. "Get a hold of yourself," he muttered to himself. "You're the one everyone is looking to for leadership and you can't have them laughing at you're... frustration." He placed his basket hat over his seal skin hat, adjusted his half-mast erection, and headed out to do the only thing he could think of: make sure the Straw Hats were holding up their end of the plan.

Law mentally patted himself on the back. Luffy going after Big Mom could be very good for everyone concerned. The potential to weaken a future rival? The chance to get ahold of her poneglyph? Luffy destroying things hundreds of miles away from him? It was too perfect. Law was quietly glad that Luffy had taken some of his more impulsive crew members with him, thus increasing the chances of he and his allies going undetected. Franky had a tendancy to go wild when provoked, but he was also sensible enough to know when it was more prudent to keep his head down. Nico Robin was the model of unseen and unheard. Roronora-ya was... a bit of a wild card to be honest, but when not being influenced by his captain he could still be reasonable. Law actually admired how the swordsman hadn't picked a fight with all the local samurai. And Usopp...

The young marksman had piqued Law's interest as of late. He had more than proven himself in Dressrosa and had been key to breaking Doflamingo's hold on that nation. It was amazing that this actual nobody had found his way onto the Straw Hat crew and then also kept pace with some of the monsters on the Sunny-go. Law often wondered exactly who (or whom) this boy who was holding his own in the most dangerous sea in the world... it intrigued Law. And because his penis was screaming at him to ejaculate inside another human being, the Captan of the Heart Pirates decided that "God" Usopp would be his target. To steel his nerves, he stopped at whatever Wano's version of 7-11 is and picked up some awesome fucking pear chuiis. He shotgunned them then headed to where the sniper with the elongated nose was selling his toad oil. He had to admit, Usopp was good at it.

"Wellllllllllllllllllllll ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you about TOAD OIL. It'll fucking clear your sinuses, cure your acne, make you smarter, and most importantly it's the cure all for sexual impotency. One application and you'll be breathing clearly with baby smooth skin, while logically processing in your mind all the best ways to please your love! Don't believe me? Try some today! Money back is not a guarantee! Fuck you!" Law laughed to himself, listening to the East Blue native's sales pitch. The people of Wano were easily swayed by people talking loudly and confidently (as was their way I assume) and Usopp was absolutely making a strong case. Furthermore, if the toad oil didn't work, they would be too ashamed to demand a refund on their boner medicine. Law acknowledged Usopp when the two made eye contact. They would definitely talk after the sales day was over."

An hour later, the last customer served, Usopp was packing up the rest of his wears as Law approached. "Hey Law. If you've come to check up on me, don't worry. I might be causing a scene, but as a brave warrior of the sea I know that I shouldn't start any actual trouble." 

Law smirked as he removed his basket mask. "I have 100% confidence in God Usopp, savior of Dressrosa. And it definitely looks like your business is booming." Law edged closer. "I can see you're as good as spinning yarns as you are at shooting things from very long ways away. I wanted to... get to know you better. We're allies after all and I appreciate how you've been able to help translate Luffy-speak into normal person for me."

Usopp seemed taken by surprise. "W-w-w-w-w-well obviously you'd want to acknowledge me, the future greatest sniper in the world. My skill is uncontested! And once Luffy gets back, the two of us will trounce Kaido and save this kingdom!"

Law continued to smirk. And he moves closer to the increasingly more nervous looking Usopp. "Yes, well I'm also looking forward to that. Tragically, we don't have a time table for Luffy's return. An if I'm being honest. I'm bored and I'm horny. I've never had a dude with a cock for a nose, so this should scratch both itches, don't you think?" Usopp started to stammer as Law pressed a finger to his lips. "Shhhh" he said. "I already put up a Room, so you're not going anywhere."

Law took his finger and moved it from his lips and stroked it along the pronounced proboscis of the afro'd sniper. Usopp tensed up and stiffled a surprised moan of pleasure. "Did you like that?" Law's smirk when from bemused to deranged. "I've simply given your nose the same types of nerve endings as your dick." He laughed sadistically at the growing horror in Usopp's eyes. "I'm truly sorry if this gets weird. It's just been awhile since I had a good nut."

He pushed Usopp over and with a quick swipe of his massive sword, removed the Straw Hat's kimono. The Surgeon of Death made some hand gestures and then suddenly... Usopp could smell balls. Musty ball smell. My god it was horrific. He reached for his face to find where the source of the ball smell was coming from... only to find something that was not a nose attached to his face. He recognized the feeling of texture... where his once proud nostrils were there rested a penis. A slowly hardeing penis, that curved sharply upward. Growing before his horrified eyes Usopp understood what had happened and he desperately grabbed at the misplaced member, trying to pull it off his face. Before him Law flinched and continued to smile.

"Hey now, go easy. I'm not ready to get off just yet." He opened the front of his robes and revealed what Usopp feared yet already knew. Nestled above the Warlord's family jewels was his nose. He felt the tickle of ball hairs inside his nostrils as it proudly pointed forward. Law clearly had only one intentinon with his experimental surgery. "Alright. I wish there was a scientific explanation for this but... I was trying to think of interesting ways to do this and this is what I've settled on. Let's do our best to not make this weird" And with that Law pushed himself onto the younger man. 

Usopp was so taken off guard he didn't know how to react. It was almost like the sight of a dick growing out of his face and his nose sprouted out of the crotch of the man who was supposed to be his ally had sapped his strength. He didn't know what to do, but somehow the harbl musk coming from Law's sack was... intoxicting. He felt his own chub rise to meet the impending onslaught of weird sexual energy. Law spit an impressively accurate gob of mucus at Usopp's asshole and drove the nose straight in. It was without a doubt the most unique experience that both Law and Usopp would ever experience.

The first thing Usopp noticed was that having a nose with the sensativity of a dick was odd. Oh sure, he was a pirate. He'd fucked butts before. He'd has his own butt fucked too. It was usually good, provided no one pulled any weird shit. This though was like... he could feel his own dick-nose inside his own asshole. It was like fucking himself in the butt without the gymnastics. The other thing that he noticed as Law picked up the pace was the smell. His butthole and taint stank. He cursed Law in his head. He might not have agreed to getting bummed with his own schnozz, but he would have liked to have freshened up first either way. You try standing out in the hot Wano summer and not have taint stank.

Law was pleased with his experiment so far. Sharing nerve endings with his target had caused a shock and awe effect as Usopp had no response for this perverse onslaught. He couldn't stop smiling at the younger man's face shift between fear, confusion, and erotic pleasure. He leaned forward, kissed Usopp on the side of his neck. The dick-nose standing turgid and throbbing in the center of the Pirate Formerly Known As Sogeking's face. He whispered in his ear, "Got your nose." With that he deepthroated his own dick as it dripped precum into Usopp's eyes.

It was all too much, especially as Law reached down and began stroking Usopp's own cock in the same rhythm as he humped away with the nose-dick. The two were lost in the pleasure and fucking outright weirdness of the situation. Anyone who's done this before knows what I'm talking about. Yeah. Eventually the pleasure overflowed until neither could stand it any longer. Usopp SNEEZED. A massive gout of cum erupted from Law's dick an the Supernova greedily gulped it down. In the same instant Usopp's nostrils, still inhaling the heady aroma of balls and taint, misted a dollop of cum into his crack. The remnants dangled from his nose hole, like snot on a winter's day. Law finished jerking off Usopp, showering the two of them in love seed.

The two laid in the afterglow of the weirdest sex either ever had or would ever had. After some time, Law cleaned the two of them up using his Prestidigitation cantrip and apologized. "Sorry about that Usopp. It's just been... a frustrating time. I hope you had as much fun as I did. Holla at ya boi if you wanna do it again because it sure was keen." Usopp could only limp in the opposite direction. Law returned to the safe house and laid down to sleep it off. 

He was woken up not 20 minutes into his post-fuck nap. Apparently Luffy had just appeared and picked a fight in town. Karma was a swift merciless bitch.


End file.
